pixie_elf: (Default)
Gods I miss Nathaniel. I miss his stormy darj eyes, I miss looking into those beautiful eyes. He has such a beepable Nose... And the most kissable lips...Oh... and he knows how to use them... But they''e absoluotely kissable....

He feels so good laying against me when we slept together.... I loved it when he'd sleep with his face buried in my chest... I miss listening to his breathing.... I miss holding him...

He's gonna find a way to move down here. :D It doesn't make the pain any easier to deal with...but it does make me happy to know it. I love you Nathaniel.
pixie_elf: (Default)
I only wish he wouldn't have had to leave.

Everything was wonderful, he was wonderful, this birthday was very wonderful. My family trusted us to stay up at the hotel alone. They let us stay up there and came up once daily pretty much, he met most of my immidiate family, and they all really loved him. :D

He took wonderful care of me. We had so much fun... I miss him. It feels like my other half has been torn away from me and taken elsewhere. I miss him horribly.

I don't want to sleep alone tonight. I don't want to go to bed without my baby.

I keep saying "He's just going back home so he can get things in order to move down here."

We found a purple pimp house for sale that we want. XD

I won't go into all the details here... I'll just say it was great. ^_^

First off : I somehow orgasmed over Katamari Damacy. He was on the last level, and, my GOD it was really close... he got it JUST in time and I fell over on the bed cause I got so excited and was like "OH GOD!" ....
"...Did you just orgasm over that?"
"...*hides face* ...yeah."
Him: *cracks up bad*
Me: Shut up!

Second: Buttsex became my favorite word there for a while. I would walk up behind him, grab his hips, and say "BUTTSEX!" randomly. XD

Third: I began threatening him, that if he didn't do what I said I'd buttsex him. We call Kevin his bro up, and, I threaten to buttsex him, and say other stuff about buttsex, just being goofy as hell... THEN HE TELLS ME THAT.... He's on the SPEAKERPHONE.... and that their MOM is in the room. And we're both embarassed and trying to explain it's a joke, from MacHall, and I was mortified. I'm sure she thinks I'm a freak for telling Kevin "I'm buttsexin' your brother!" at one point. o_o; lmao.

We also went out to eat, just the two of us. Lots of things happened, will put more later, but in a bit of a sad mood. I miss my beloved right now very badly.

What we did.

August the 26th:
We picked him up, I ran and clung to him. Hugged him lots and we sat outside in each other's arms while they went and got the car. We held hands and talked with them as they started to take us home. We went by a wildlife place that had aligators, at the Trinity River so we stopped. We had our first -real- kiss out there, and took some pictures. It's also where he gave me my ring. ^_^ I think we then went by the hotel, and from there went to go eat (It may be the other way around.) at Golden Corral. Then we went to Walmart, then we went home. We talked to each other and held each other. ^_^

August the 27th: We got up, showered, played Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3, watched Hawk the Slayer, went to the store to get foodlike supplies. I think afterwards we watched Willow. I -think- we also played Katamari Damacy.

August the 28th: We played more Katamari Damacy...LOTS more... He gave me my present this day, so that people wouldn't freak out at my birthday... it was ZOMBIE JESUS! YES! HE ACTUALLY made me Zombie Jesus! <3

August the 29th: My birthday. First, we got up, got dressed, and we went to my doctors appointment. Pain Management. Na-kun got to meet the creepy pedo nurse who likes me cause he thinks I'm young... Ick. Then we went to Wal-mart, took the groceries back to the room, and then we went up to IHOP. We were going to do my B-day Dinner there, and, let Nathaniel meet Brandi, Jose and Jose Jr. Tara was already up there working. We get out of the car.... and Mom slips and falls because it's raining! She hurt her wrist and her leg badly so Papa had to take her back home. We hung out with them and talked, I got to hold the baby some, and the baby liked Nathaniel. He'd do a dance for him and the baby would just watch. He also let me hold him some, and carry him around. Every time he did something cute tho, Nathaniel would raise the camera to get a pic of him...and he'd stop doing whatever it was. XD LMAO. And I tried new foods but wasn't really hungry... And then we went to the liquor store and looked around... I saw something called Pink Dragon and had to get some, which wasn't very good, and we picked up the Zombie Mix... And went home and picked some stuff up. Then we went back to the hotel and hung out and played more games. ^_^ Also the night we found out there were Ghosts in the hotel. I'll explain this better later.

August the 30th: ALMOST Z-day! ... We were both sick. He went to the grocery store, and I stayed at the hotel room cause I felt icky. We talked on the phone to people and I think this day we finished Katamari Damacy. Then we watched Kill Bill Vol. 1

August the 31st: Z-day! Zombie movies, zombie games. Zombie se... erm... I mean... We watched Dawn of the dead (Original), Dawn of the Dead (New), and Shaun of the Dead. We drank zombies during each movie, 1 per movie, about 2-3 hours apart. I drank the first two slow. The third one I drank fast and fell over in a fit of giggles, drunk.

Sept the 1st: Watched Kill Bill Vol 2. Then played more Katamari Damacy. Then we took showers, went up to Tara's house and visited the baby and he met Brandon. Saw Jose, and Brandi again when they came to pick up Jose Jr. Then we went out to eat, and went to Walmart, and picked up Bubba Hotep, then watched it.

Sept the 2nd: I broke his PS2 while playing Katamari Damacy. I leaned back and it fell off of the entertainment center / dresser. It had fallen off once or twice before when Mom tripped over it. They brought mine up and we tried to use it and wound up needing a CD cleaner kit. Went and got it, and then came back. It didn't fix it. We could play some games on it but not all. I think this night we wound up watching some of Kung Fu's second season.

Sept the 3rd: My PS2 kept messing up, and we watched the Princess Bride. We wound up having to watch it on Mom's DVD player, cause the PS2 wouldn't work. We were going to go to Tara's and see the baby but he and I both had an anxious feeling that it would be best to go to the mall instead, so we had them drop us off, and we walked around, I showed him different shops, found lots of cute clothes that I wanted, and we met a guy and talked about Anime for a good while, then went and ate Pizza at a little place in the food court called Roman Delight (Basically Sabaro). They came and picked us up and we went back to the hotel. He wound up opening the PS2 up and realizing gee, this sure is Dusty. We asked them to bring a screwdriver up the next morning.

Sept the 4th:
He opened the PS2 up and cleaned the lense, it wound up working great after that! We went to Toys R Us... Then we had them drop us off at Bennigans for our first date. We both sat and ate, He got a Monti Cristo and I tried that, and I got a Sirloin Steak with fries. The other side I got was Cinnimon apples which I hadn't had before so I tried that. Then we shared a Mudslide, and I got a White Chocolate Chill out and he got a Death By Chocolate for dessert. We each tried what the other had. (Yeah, he's making Picky Mystina try stuff. Who'd have thought it? ^_^; ) Then afterwards we went to the movie club, and got Shaolin Soccer. We'd already had them pick up Kung Fu Hustle earlier that day. So we had 2 more movies to watch. We sat around, watched Kung Fu Hustle, me wearing HIS t-shirt as a night shirt. We talked a lot and wound up pausing the movie and he got drunk a bit (his tooth was hurting him so he drank a few too many smirnoffs) and he was very cute drunken. We finished watching it and couldn't watch Shaolin Soccer. It was too scratched up for the PS2 to read it. So I talked to my drunken beloved and other funny shit happened that I can't put here because he might not like it but he was so cute drunk. <3

Sept the 5th: I got up about an hour earlier than he did. I held him and cuddled him. Then I went about picking up the room. I got a good bit of it done by the time he got up. We went through his stuff... I had to take off the shirt I was wearing of his and give it back... and I then, in my PJ's, pulled a pair of his boxers on my head. He said it fit me and gave them to me. They're his other pair of lucky boxers. I paraded around with them on my head then got dressed after he took some pics of me in one of his shirts and my PJ pants. we went back and began to pack his clothes again and we both got a bit teary eyed... because his clothes all smelled of me... and we didn't want to pack up... And when we finished that my family came... we kissed lots... hugged each other lots... and then sent stuff out to the car... Mama fixed my hair and he and I made sure we got everything.

We got on the road and watched Shaolin Soccer on Mom's DVD player. We stopped when we got to cracker barrel and we went in and ate. I tried a piece of Cornbread, and we all ordered our food. He and I looked around the store and found something very cute... it's a little pink cat with pink wings with Jewels on it and it's made so you can wear it on your wrist or in your hair. We saw her and I thought she was cute so he bought her for me.... <3 We named her Nastina (Nuh-Stina) so now Groperella Mythaniel has a sister! :D A kittycat sister. ^_^

We ate, then got back in the car and continued watching the movie... when we got to the airport it was near the end so we turned it off. We went inside, checked his bags in, and I clung to his arm. Mama and Papa went and parked the car... He and I found a place to sit and wait. When they came back we hugged each other and kissed and Mom noticed a woman who kept pretty much GAWKING at us... Basically everyone who met us seemed to know I was his... Other people watched us too.

We went and sat down near the gate and talked about all sorts of things until about the last 15 minutes... we took the last few pictures and then we all hugged and talked and cried. He sang to me, God he has such a beautiful voice, while I cried... When it was time to go my family said their goodbyes and he and I walked up to the point I couldn't go past and kissed, and told each other how much we loved each other. I watched him go up to the security thing for a minute then I turned around and went back to my family.

Later that night, I finished Shaolin soccer and sobbed through the end. Mom found me and held me and hugged me trying to make me feel better... And then when we talked on the phone I sobbed. He's planning to move down here so we just keep saying he's gone back home to get his stuff...

It was wonderful, I wouldn't trade the time with him for anything, even though it hurt like hell when he left I'd never trade it....
pixie_elf: (Default)
(If anyone can add to this please list it. Check my last entry if you have no idea what this is referring to.)

Why it would work:

Mystina would be out of the house, her room could be cleaned without her getting sick from the dust. Something that has been promised to her for a good while but hasn't happened.

Tacy would get a vacation from taking care of Mystina. She could let someone ELSE do the work of it. She would get a break from the stress of it at least.

Nathaniel is a medical professional, he could take care of her and if anything happened he'd know what to do. He already has her medicine list and is learning it. She won't be taking care of herself.

She knows how to protect herself. If he tried anything he'd get a swift kick in the balls. Both of their intentions are PURE, both want to wait until marriage so nothing will happen. But, If he tried anything he'd get kicked in the nuts.

He intends to keep her headache away, and any other pain until the night they plan to work on healing her. She can also be given energy by him. This means she's going to feel good as long as she has easy access to him. It works better when he's able to put his hands on the person. He's the only one able to bring her headache down to a 0, so while he's here that also means a break from the pain for a while for HER.

If anything did happen you're just a phonecall away.

The bad possibilities of what could happen:

Nathaniel could try something, piss Mystina off, and get his balls kicked while she called her family. After kicking them more than once that is. She's not going to let a man harm her, and if he tried she doesn't care how much she loves him, he gets the same : a kick in the balls if he tries anything on her. When Mystina says she's going to wait she means it. Then he'd have to deal with her pissed off family who'd beat the shit out of him before calling the cops. :)

She could get sick...and he'd be there to give her the medication she needed. If it got bad they could call home and take her to the hospital.
pixie_elf: (Default)
Yay. My family decided that no, I cannot stay at the hotel with Nathaniel. I am about to be Twenty-Fucking-One. My god.

It's not that that I'm pissed off the most about.

I'm pissed because three months ago.... THREE FUCKING MONTHS AGO Mom PROMISED she'd find a way to make this happen.

And what's she saying now?

5 Days.


I told them a fucking WEEK IN ADVANCE he'll be buying them.

They said I never talked to them about it... WHY THE FUCK AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS TO BRING IT UP? That's not fucking on me. They have responsibility in this too. And if they were trying to be responsible then they should have brought it up months ago.

I'm pissed off.

Very pissed off.

They kept saying how messed up I've been of late.

Well gee I know the Compazine fucked me over.

They said I had judgement making problems.

They said I'm impulsive.

That I do shit without thinking so I'm going to do something wrong.

They said I needed a therapyst.

Because in the past few weeks Mom has been harsh on me and told me shit when she was angry that upset me. Shit that wasn't true and I'm never allowed to say you're wrong because I'm told to shut up. Wow. You really want me to talk to a therapyst about that? They'd chew her ass out and put her right in therapy with me. Good idea.

Don't fucking pull your shit on me making this my fault and mine alone. You could have brought it up too.

So I guess this means I'm not trusted.

And Apparantly unless Nathaniel can come up with enough money to cover the hotel (Which I'm not sure WHAT that will be but I know the full price will be between $359-390 or so for 10 days, because they can apparantly only pay for 5 when they promised the full 10...) We're fucked. Great going guys.

I told you we should save up.

Did you listen? No.

I also planned this out so I wouldn't be going and doing a fuck of a lot that would tire me out.

And yet I'm the one that's irresponsible, fucks shit up, and apparantly is untrustworthy.

I'm about ready to say fuck you. You may be my parents and I may love you but I'm about to be 21. I have the right to go to that room and sleep in it if I want to.

What they also don't think about is it'd give them days to work on my room. Days that they could get that fucking mess cleaned up without making me ill because of the dust. But does that matter? No. What matters is that I'll fuck shit up and sleep with him because I'm obviously an impulsive idiot who couldn't POSSIBLY decide to wait and carry that through. Goody.

Wow, you really put trust in me. You really make me feel all happy about who I am and what I am. I think things out carefully guys, very carefully and I think about things a lot. You want to talk about reality? You could have brought it up. So it's not just on my head. It's on yours.

I don't recall ever being this angry at Mama or Papa before but I am so fucking angry. It's all my fault I guess, because I'm so irresponsible.


Apr. 1st, 2005 11:23 am
pixie_elf: (Default)
Everything is fine now. I paniced, because of bad memories, if you want an explaination of that last post. I was just really, really upset. Some things you don't want to remember because they just make you feel so...

... Useless. Weak. Stupid.

I don't feel that way now. At the time, I did, and all of that came -rushing- back... I would rather not have to remember the feelings. I learned from those mistakes. Boy, did I learn... I learned something very important about myself at that point. At all of those points. I made the mistake I made back then in ignorance. I shall not make it again.

I wasn't so worried about getting hurt... No. I was more worried about hurting him. I was worried that if I let it go on.... I'd wind up repeating my mistake and hurting my beloved because I -would- break and crumble again. I wouldn't just hurt myself in that case. I'd wind up lashing out... Or just hurting him when I finally did break and the truth came out. I couldn't lie about something that important.

I don't want to fuck this up because of what happened in my past...

Thank you for listening to me, Drew. I really appriciated it. It helped a lot. *hugs*


pixie_elf: (Default)

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