it seems to me that if they really cared about making you happy and were really worried about him doing something to you, someone would try to stay with you guys.
Now, Mysti's crazy, but not stupid (as opposed to me, who's both crazy AND stupid).
I think maybe it's that he's finally going to be here that your family suddenly get cold feet, the way some people get cold feet when finally meeting someone off the internet or a pen-pal for the first time. The sudden realisation that they "don't know anything about this guy" or "what if there's something i never knew about" "what if he's not what he says he is", that sort of thing.
Generally it's useless to coax people into thinking otherwise when they've set themselves into this sort of fear/panic. Although it's not actually any of your concern, it would be a gesture of responsibility and understanding on your part, however, to try and alleviate these fears.
Mysti's an adult, but she'll always be the frail baby to her family because she IS the "baby" (the one everyone looks out for in the existing family group) and they're so used to being worried about her. It may be very difficult for Mysti to talk to her family and reason with them as adults because they might not be able to accept her attempts at reasonable, adult conversation. This doesn't mean Mysti should give up or get upset, just that it's not Mysti's fault if and when her family doesn't treat her like a "responsible adult" when she's acting one.
Maybe it'll be good to let the family talk to him on the phone sometimes, the talking will reassure them that he's real and reassure them of his character and remind them that they love him and can trust him with Mysti. They might be more open to listening to him as a reasonable responsible adult rather than Mysti. Mysti can try negotiating a compromise, too... invite someone to chaperone for a few days while mysti visits nathan but not stay over. And if nathan behaves and mysti is fine after that set number of days, mysti can stay over? It just sounds like a fear/panic reaction, not a reaction towards any real concern or issues. They liked him well enough before and trust mysti's judgement on guys for herself. Mysti shouldn't let them ruin her mood.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2005-08-05 05:11 pm (UTC)Now, Mysti's crazy, but not stupid (as opposed to me, who's both crazy AND stupid).
I think maybe it's that he's finally going to be here that your family suddenly get cold feet, the way some people get cold feet when finally meeting someone off the internet or a pen-pal for the first time. The sudden realisation that they "don't know anything about this guy" or "what if there's something i never knew about" "what if he's not what he says he is", that sort of thing.
Generally it's useless to coax people into thinking otherwise when they've set themselves into this sort of fear/panic. Although it's not actually any of your concern, it would be a gesture of responsibility and understanding on your part, however, to try and alleviate these fears.
Mysti's an adult, but she'll always be the frail baby to her family because she IS the "baby" (the one everyone looks out for in the existing family group) and they're so used to being worried about her. It may be very difficult for Mysti to talk to her family and reason with them as adults because they might not be able to accept her attempts at reasonable, adult conversation. This doesn't mean Mysti should give up or get upset, just that it's not Mysti's fault if and when her family doesn't treat her like a "responsible adult" when she's acting one.
Maybe it'll be good to let the family talk to him on the phone sometimes, the talking will reassure them that he's real and reassure them of his character and remind them that they love him and can trust him with Mysti. They might be more open to listening to him as a reasonable responsible adult rather than Mysti. Mysti can try negotiating a compromise, too... invite someone to chaperone for a few days while mysti visits nathan but not stay over. And if nathan behaves and mysti is fine after that set number of days, mysti can stay over? It just sounds like a fear/panic reaction, not a reaction towards any real concern or issues. They liked him well enough before and trust mysti's judgement on guys for herself. Mysti shouldn't let them ruin her mood.