pixie_elf | That was NOT fun. But it was pretty funny.

Kay so, I meet the pain management doctor, at first his response is "I don't think I can help you."

Then he decides he'll try some anticonvulsants/mood stabilizers on me. Okay, everyone who was around me 8-9 years ago, knows for a fact, this is a fucking bad idea. Anticonvulsants tend not to do so well on me...

Sooo... Lamictal. That was the only one out of the 3 that we could get, they had to order the Zanaflex, and the pharmacist said "No" on the Celebrex because I reacted badly to Vioxx. (Thank GOD.)

Well, we get the Lamictal, I take it, 30 minutes later, my stomach hurts. Then I get itchy, so I take a Ketotifen. I assume I will be okay, drink some Pepto.

This...turns out to not be the end of it.

I started to feel very happy.

No, not just happy. I started laughing. Hysterically.

So, I'm sitting there laughing and inform mom that my feet feel funny.

I continue to laugh, then realize that I can hear my heartbeat in my ears... Mom didn't tell me, but my ears were fire engine red. This is a warning sign that someone's blood pressure is up.

Then I notice that my throat feels odd, but my perception was super duper fucked. So I wasn't quite sure if my throat was closing up...My lungs also felt a bit sore. I informed her, then went right back to laughing.

Mom called the pharmacist, and while she was on the phone with him, I continued laughing hysterically.

So, THEN I get itchy. I go to my room, itch, get dressed, continue laughing my ass off.

We go to the ER, by the time we get there, I am very much not laughing anymore. It felt like there was a snake wrapped around my spine. Mom sits me down, I start coughing after a minute or two, and my throat begins to close up in earnest. This time I could damn well tell what the hell it was. On top of this, a cluster headache was raging and my beastie was pretty pissed off.

She told the girl at the desk, and it was a fucking good thing I had my epi pen on me, cause the bitch didn't care.

Mom grabbed it, gave it to me through my jeans, and within a minute I started feeling relief.

Then I notice the half-dollar sized blood stain appearing on my leg. I decided to ask "Are you gonna be able to get that out?"

Mom starts laughing at me, due to the fact that I just faced possible death and my only concern was "Will this blood come out of my jeans?"

A minute or two after that... I started to shake. Then... my eye popped open. After I took the epi, I knew that my head was easing up.

"Oh my god..."
"What?! Is your throat closing back up?!"
"No! My eye. LOOK! OH MY GOD. The epi must have done it! It must be a vasoconstrictor! My head feels better!"

Excitement on my part ensues. Then, they called me back, did my triage, every nurse wanted to put a blanket on me because I was shaking so bad. I was like "I'm not COLD. I want to go take a nap."

"You really don't need to sleep right now." Well, no shit sherlock...

SO, we go back out into the waiting room, and I'm laughing hysterically at everything again, and Mom is finally like OMFG. DON'T TALK TO ME ANYMORE OR YOU'RE GROUNDED. And we're laughing harder and I keep saying "I REALLY DON'T WANT TO LAUGH!! I KEEP TRYING NOT TO!!"

Finally this lady looks at us and Mom realizes we look absolutely nuts, and explains that I got REAL fucked up on some medicine... And I'm laughing at EVERYTHING. Really, after the epinephrine, I thought maybe I was okay. Maybe I had my head cleared by it. Mom informed me that NO, I was still very goofy.

So, the lady starts talking to us and her daughter comes over and we talk... My cluster suddenly comes back, and I take my stadol. You could tell when it was flaring up, because I would stop laughing for a few minutes.

Well, a little while later, these people come in, looked like a whole fucking bus accident had happened. It was obviously a team from one of the local schools.

People were crying in the group. We found out, it was for ONE girl. When they brought her out of triage, everyone SWARMED her until security told them to break up.

After this, Obama's acceptance speach came on. Now, here's where the stupid comes in. I thought it was cute when he was talking about buying his daughters a puppy.

So I said "What're you gonna do now that you're president?"
"Buy my kids a PUPPY! :D"

...the girl said
"What? I'm getting shot tonight?"

...WHAT? Kay, so I'm going back to watching the TV, 'cause you just said that in a room full of Obama supporters...

So they finally take me back, the doc comes in, examines me, notices the bit of a rash I have. He said he wanted to keep me because he expected me to have a flair up in 2-3 hours. He said he wanted an IV in me, to make sure that if it happened, he could get some epinephrine in me without having to fight my body.

Well, they gave me Phenergan injection, and Vistaril injection, and a pepcid pill. Another cluster had hit by this time, they knew that Nubain helped me, or my Stadol. So I asked the nurse if I could take my Stadol.

She came back and told me "The doctor said to give you WHATEVER you wanted!"

FUCK YEAH MAN! GIVE ME CRACK. I WANT CRACK. I BROUGHT MY OWN CRACK HERE I'LL DO THAT. (Kidding. XD )

"So, do you want the Nubain, or you can take your Stadol?"

I chose the wiser choice, Nubain tyvm.

2 hours pass... and I start to itch. Oh joy! Mom said my forehead swole up like one of the dudes from the Geico cavemen commercials. XD

We mentioned to the nurse when she brought me more Vistaril that we saw all those people outside for that one girl... She informed us said girl? That all of the people were there for? Was being treated in Minor Care.

...We LOL'd. She must have been the star of the team, with the way the adults were crying too.

Little while later, my left lung starts to hurt. They give me more Nubain.

Later on they decided that I was okay, and let me go home. I flopped into bed and slept happily.

Today we found out that the pain management doctor will not treat me due to the complications, so I went to my doctor, he gave me moar stadol. I've also got a referral for another pain management clinic.

Something that the pain management doctor asked me though was... "Have you tried vicodin for this?"

"Yes, I have."

"How much did you take?"

"What I was prescribed, I tried a double dose of it, too."

"You probably just didn't take enough."

....

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WHAT?!!?!?!?!?!

How much is ENOUGH when it comes to Vicodin?!?!?! DUDE, I don't want LIVER FAILURE. D: